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  • Writer's picturePéa Borba

By The Color of Their Flag

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you recognized their color flag (strawberry, you know) in someone, yet chose to ignore them and continue on with the relationship? On work environment, friends, relatives, or romantic relationships, why do we do this to ourselves, knowing that it is not a problem with the other person, but rather something we need to address within ourselves?


It is a phenomenon that many of us have experienced waaaay too many times. We see warning signs - flags in a form of blockages, frustrations, intolerance, cones, stones, flames - indicators that this person may not be the best fit for us, yet we proceed on the path that we know, it will end on a wall? But why do we do this? Whyyyyyyyy?

One potential reason for this behavior is the fear of being alone (bla, bla, bla, Really?) Do you prefer to be fighting with someone 24/7 than being alone. Do you need that much stress and deviation from your own self in your life? If that is true, go ahead, just keep the path of them bloody flags.


In addition to the fear of being alone, we may also find ourselves attracted to certain qualities in the person, despite the flags that we recognize. It is natural to be drawn to individuals who possess traits that we find appealing, even if they come with warning signs attached. This attraction can cloud our judgment, leading us to overlook the potential problems that may arise as a result of the person's negative qualities.


And in many cases, we may even think we can do good for the red flag - that we can change it into a "new leaf" color (punch). The possibility of becoming a modern era angelical magical being, who can turn red into green is very attractive. Who doesn't want to become a statue, hu?! Because according to our societal rules, we must be "good" for the other, no matter what. No matter if the other is a manipulative, energy vampire, that know exactly how to get into your jugular and suck the whole life out of you. And we mayfly into the "helping others" trap because the red flags love to disguise themselves and victim


Our own insecurities and low self-esteem lead us to accept less than we deserve in a relationship. So it leads to thoughts that we should be giving, even if we are not receiving. We do not believe that we deserve better and we are willing to accept any form of affection or attention, even if it is unhealthy for us.


It is crucial for us to recognize that the issue lies within ourselves and not with the other person. They will keep living their lives without even noticing to be of any color.


But it is not all lost: All the red flags you red above, and maybe some that are coming to your mind right now, came to you for a reason. TO LEARN We can break the cycle of entering into unhealthy relationships and LEARN to recognize when it is time to walk away from someone who does not align with our values and needs. We have that feeling memorized on many parts of your our body, now its only start listening to it.


Péa.




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